When I started this blog, I would write everyday. But it’s the end of the semester, and I’ve been distracted by grading for this semester and plans for the next one. Plan the course. Make a course map. Make a welcome video. Prepare the course presentation. Write all the assignment prompts. Set up the Moodle sites. Grade papers. Respond to emails. I feel that I’m being stretched between the two semesters: doing both poorly.

And, between it all, I play with Playdough and go walking with my toddler, who loves the painted rocks that people have been making and wants to give the rocks bottles and put them to bed and say, “Sweet dreams. I love you, rock.” (Social distancing probably means not kissing rocks, but she is very enamoured with this particular rock). The weather has been nice, so we’ve been walking through the neighbourhood, noticing things. A mural with an octopus. Some trees fat with white flowers. Pine needles on the ground. She loves cedar and pine. Burying her hands in pine needles or wood chips is her favourite thing.

And then I come home and get reminded for the fifth time that I haven’t read the book for book club, and I remember that the grocery shopping needs to be done, and I haven’t written the assignment prompts, and my bedside table is a disgrace, and should clean the bathroom and this and that.

So, the days ebb and flow. I enjoy the sunshine with my toddler, and try to tamp down the misplaced anger I feel towards people having picnics in the park or parties in the school playground. (I never thought that the sound of an icecream truck could spark such fury. Apparently ice cream trucks are essential services??) I feel content with checking small tasks off my to-do list, as if this weren’t a pandemic, but my brain is still buzzing with nervous energy. I’m constantly checking the daily charts that the CBC puts out. I watch the 3 pm broadcasts with Bonnie Henry, and pitch my mood to the numbers of cases, the numbers of deaths, the hospitalizations, as if I’m reading a weather forecast.

But the numbers are good, so far. And the weather is nice, for now. And things are progressing in their own way. And these days are tense and boring.

A toddler reaches for cherry blossoms.