Feeling the urge to bust into Instagram influencer mode and declare myself #blessed. Yesterday, my wonderful colleague heard me complaining on a Microsoft Teams chat about how I’d neglected to bring my art supplies home from campus. The craft situation in our household was dire. We were down to half a crayon and one crusty marker, which I kept trying to revive by dipping it in water. She dropped off a huge bag of crafting supplies for Dot, plus some chocolate and candy for me.

Then, today, my parents dropped off some toys that they’d kept at their house for Dot, along with the best gift of all: toilet paper.

We really are lucky to have people who care about us during this time.

Today, I went grocery shopping for the first time in nearly 3 weeks. Usually, Dot and I go shopping nearly every day. Dot loves the free piece of fruit at the grocery store, and she is a “very big helper” pushing the tiny carts that they have there. I love our usual routine of breakfast, store, coffee shop, park, lunch, nap.

But today, there was no time for a toddler helper to careen through the aisles, filling the cart with Peppa Pig colouring books. Just me and my careful list, sorted by aisle. I planned to go early, hoping there’d still be toilet paper (there wasn’t). I arrived at just the wrong time and couldn’t find a shopping cart, so I lugged two baskets around, filling them with everything on our list. It was so bizarre to approach this mundane task with military precision: to feel as if I was entering enemy territory, dodging and weaving around customers to keep my social distance. The baskets and shopping bags were so heavy that my wrists were raw by the time I was done. When I got home, I wiped everything down with Clorox wipes, put them away, changed my clothes and had a shower.

Arm with bruises from carrying heavy bags

In 2009, I had a failed hip replacement and had to relearn how to walk. (I blogged through that too). I was supposed to get a blood transfusion, but didn’t, and so even shuffling a block would require a 4 hour nap. I spent a lot of time in bed, full of nervy boredom. Today’s grocery store trip reminded me of the first time I went to a grocery store after the hip replacement. I can’t even remember what I bought, but I remember standing in the aisle on my crutches, trying to reach something from the shelf, feeling as if I was pushing through dense gravity, thinking, “Wow, I used to do this all the time and it was just a normal thing.”

But what a wonderful feeling to be home, freshly showered, my cupboards full of food, toilet paper in the cupboard, re-upped on mini eggs (thanks mom!). So many people don’t have that.

And what a wonderful feeling to spend an hour in the rain with Dot as she investigated the chestnuts on the ground, turning each one in her hand, peeling off the outer layer “like an orange.” What a wonderful feeling to watch her dirty little hands making sense of the word, and to look at chestnuts as if for the first time.